spa day + formula + the flu?

The past 2 months have been rough. I won’t go into my complete medical history, but this new birth control has everything completely out of whack and irregular, which is only making my daily headaches even more unbearable. I have also been sick for 2 weeks. I thought I had strep, as everyone at work was getting it. I tested negative, AND just when I thought it was all over, this past Sunday I spent the evening on the couch in the fetal position. ALL I wanted to do was enjoy my Sunday Funday, cook dinner, snuggle up on the couch, and watch The Walking Dead with the family. The universe had other plans. I felt so nauseous and achy. I couldn’t stand up and walk 2 feet without feeling like I needed to rush to the porcelain throne and hold my head over the seat. Gross. Sounds like the flu, right? But I don’t have a temperature, and that’s what the docs would say if I went in. Trying to work on Wednesday was horrid, but I did get to leave a little early. Earlier that day, just picking up Carter felt like I was flipping a tire in a Crossfit competition. I had depleted all of my energy. I had nothing.

Matt has been a HUGE help this week especially, thank goodness. I couldn’t do this without him!

With my body having a mind of its own lately; to say I’ve been COMPLETELY stressed would be an understatement. I don’t usually let things get to me and I don’t get stressed out easily. But when your body is this out of whack your/my milk supply dips.

So at 5am Thursday morning; I cried.  As I pulled my ‘emergency can‘ of formula from the cupboard & read the directions— I cried. I looked at Matt holding the baby and tears filled my eyes. He pulled me close & reminded me that everything will be okay and that I’ve done such a great job going this long.

“I don’t want to do this yet. I’m not ready.”

“It’ll be okay. He’ll be okay.”

I felt defeated, that I might have to start using formula. Let me stress this strongly— I am NOT against formula and I certainly DO NOT judge moms who do not breastfeed. I’ve just made it my goal to exclusively breastfeed C until he’s AT LEAST 6 months. I’m so close– just 2 more months! If I CAN help it, I’m not going to stop then. I’ll just be super happy and so thankful that I was blessed enough to go that long.

SO, although this week has been a little tough, C had a really great/relaxed morning yesterday. He wasn’t as fussy as he has been this week. I wasn’t feeling sick or achy anymore. We both took a pretty great -much needed- nap.

Matt went into work early so I could go to the Spa. He got me an AWESOME spa package that included a massage, facial, hand/foot/scalp massage, body wrap, and body scrub. WOOHOO! I’m so excited for such treatment. Unfortunately I couldn’t take advantage of the body wrap because I’m breastfeeding and I certainly don’t have enough milk pumped and saved to ‘pump and dump’ for the next 24 hours, so I chose to forgo the wrap, but my masseuse allowed me to exchange it for an extra body scrub and extra facial. I was sooo thankful for this spa day! It was VERY much needed. My hubby KNOWS exactly what this momma needs. Afterwards, I was WAYY too close to my favorite macaroon spot, NOT to stop in. I haven’t had a macaroon in ALMOST a year… SO yes, I went against my healthy eating lifestyle and splurged. They are TO DIE FOR!

the ’emergency can’ – my serene spot – treat yourself momma, you deserve it

The only thing missing from our Thursday: The Blacklist. We have to wait until April 7th to find out: Is Liz’s mother alive!? Who is TOM Jacob, really? Anyone else wonder WHEN Liz is going to start calling him Jacob??? What the heck happens during their wedding? Anyone else have a bad feeling about something happening to Tom? What DOES “Tacos” (as we like to call her) WANT with Tom? 😊

Here’s a fun little poll for all my BLACKLIST fans:

 

¤see you soon. stay humble. stay kind¤

-A

 

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